As a taekwondo teacher, I love the fact one of the tenets (building blocks) of this great martial art is self-control. Even the bible says you will know a Christian by their fruits, and one of these fruits is also self-control.


In the last two weeks, we have looked into making better to do lists (click here), and how to not procrastinate (click here). However, without discipline and self-control you will find it pretty hard to accomplish any of these things, or more importantly, do them constantly.


The meaning of self-control is probably obvious but it helps to look at definitions. Self-discipline is where you choose to do what you are meant to do, above what you want to do. Whereas self-control is being able to control oneself, desires, emotions, actions, and even thoughts when times are good and especially in difficult times and conflicts. You need the discipline to work on your self-control or you need self-control to be disciplined; they are not the same thing.

Fredericks Burg stated ‘Self-control is a discipline in the face of pressure from an immediate urge, desire or compulsion. Self-control relates to delaying immediate gratification of the sense. Its struggle is the conflict between intellectual knowing and emotional desiring’.


I have found although I am naturally peaceful, I can also be harsh with words, it’s like I have an immediate urge to reply to a message that I feel the person needs to hear my side. However, with good discipline, I have learnt to delete my first response (most of the time anyway) and remember this person is not my enemy, and I am too busy to go back down to these juvenile arguments. Therefore, I fight my initial urges and try to use my words to bring more peace than aggression, also using a more calm tone even when communicating by text.


Discipline is also important for completing tasks. In last week’s article, I noted the different types of procrastinators (click here). I noticed I am the creative procrastinator, who always keeps coming with new ideas and may not finish the previous one. Discipline is key.

So how do we become a disciplined person and have self-control: –

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